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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
The Smiths - How soon is now?



Again a very autistic song: the line in which he describes going to a pub, wanting to meet somebody for a deeper connection, but just not belonging there...
I have been through that so often, and I think every fellow Aspergian has.

And, now that I am a bit heartbroken over a not-answered affaction, I get a bizarre sort of warm feeling from this song, it's like Morrissey offers a shoulder to cry on. Weird, but it feels good somehow in this downward days...

Posted on: 2005/11/27 4:21
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/11/23 17:52
From France
Posts: 266
"The scientist" (Coldplay) sung by Aimee Mann (in live).

Posted on: 2005/11/27 13:56
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
Joined:
2005/1/3 18:45
From usa
Posts: 12549
Quote:

Gerrit wrote:
The Smiths - How soon is now?



Again a very autistic song: the line in which he describes going to a pub, wanting to meet somebody for a deeper connection, but just not belonging there...
I have been through that so often, and I think every fellow Aspergian has.

And, now that I am a bit heartbroken over a not-answered affaction, I get a bizarre sort of warm feeling from this song, it's like Morrissey offers a shoulder to cry on. Weird, but it feels good somehow in this downward days...


I know this is a common practice, but why on earth would you go to a pub to meet someone? Seems like one of the worst places to look for people...

Hope ya feel better, though.

Posted on: 2005/11/27 14:04
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
South
Joined:
2005/1/2 14:28
From France
Posts: 3716
I guess cos there're people in a pub... Now don't ask me, i'm not good at meeting people.

Posted on: 2005/11/27 16:27
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
Well, there are not too many places where people meet for a good chat. Most people want to party when going out, nobody wants a good conversation. The problem is that Ireland has a true pub culture with only very few places where people meet that don't like the classic nightlife. Belfast has an occasion poetry reading maybe, but no venues where you can meet similar souls. And so then remains the pubs, but I gave up that because it is so frustrating and actually accentuates your feeling of loneliness. The Smiths' song "How soon is now" tells exactly how I often feel.
The autistic society for the UK is trying to get a social club started for people with Aspergers in Northern Ireland, I hope it works out as it'd be a great occasion to have some sort of social contacts.

Posted on: 2005/11/27 17:54
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
PS: I feel slightly better, thanks. I am now actually wondering if I should try once more or not. The girl I'm talking about went home with someone else, but I'm not sure if it was just an innocent ride home or if it was more. So I'm doubting if I should still confess my feelings, it could ruin the friendship of course.

Posted on: 2005/11/27 17:58
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Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
Joined:
2005/1/3 18:45
From usa
Posts: 12549
Um, what about hobbies? I guess for most people here it would be live music concerts. But I would generally advocating finding people by doing stuff you like with others than by going to a bar.

Posted on: 2005/11/28 13:28
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Wonderlust
Joined:
2005/1/10 8:37
From Portland, Oregon USA
Posts: 2337
Oh Well, by Fiona Apple because of Julie's signature. And maybe because I was listening to that album about a half an hour ago.

Posted on: 2005/11/30 2:08
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Glow Stars
Joined:
2005/11/23 21:07
From Paris
Posts: 24
Right now, there is Dyonisos - Tes lacets sont des fées in my head :)

Posted on: 2005/12/2 0:29
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
Joined:
2005/10/14 13:03
From Konstanz, Germany
Posts: 5435
Bush - Cold Contagious

Posted on: 2005/12/2 13:11
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
Quote:

Cassander wrote:
Um, what about hobbies? I guess for most people here it would be live music concerts. But I would generally advocating finding people by doing stuff you like with others than by going to a bar.


I actually always go to soccer, concerts and cinema alone, and like it that way. I'd need someone just as fanatic before she can join



Actually, I can feel physical attraction to a girl, but real feelings and wanting to come closer to her is only when I have a good conversation. With this girl that's in my head now, I at first didn't notice her, but then we had such a deep and nice conversation that I started liking her, and since then I suddenly realised how attractive she is physically. Details I didn't see before, like her nice smile, her deep blue eyes, ... *sigh* I usually forget about a pretty girl in ten minutes when I didn't talk to her, when I have a good conversation with her and enjoy talking to her she can stick to my brain for weeks...

So maybe I should try debate groups or poetry readings, but it seems so forced and cheap to use those as dating venues. Also, Irish people tend to only rarely organise such evenings, because most prefer the odd pints in a pub

Posted on: 2005/12/3 2:18
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Your kingdom...

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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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2005/1/2 12:40
From close to Antwerp
Posts: 6457
I understand Gerrits loneliness.

But hey Gerrit, you're still young and adventurous, it shouldn't be too hard to find friends where you live ! Or people from work, with which you share similar interests.

Contrary to what people think, the internet is a great way to meet friends. Not just the dating sites, but also sites like this. Before I had a pc, I always went to Heather concerts on my own, but nowadays I know like 10 people at each concert, whether it's in Belgium, Germany or the Netherlands.


When I was like 20, we went out with 20 to 30 people, every friday and saturday. From thursday on, the phone didn't stop ringing. Nowadays, it's the opposite.

Most of my (former) friends are married, have kids, have moved for work ....

But I have made some new friends at work.

I guess I got quite used to being on my own.



There is this woman, N, with whom I chat everyday and with whom I go out a lot. We're just friends, although I feel slightly attracted to her. But a good conversation is better than bad sex.

Well, she's divorcing, she has 3 kids and she lives 100 km from here, so I don't think a lot will happen.

Posted on: 2005/12/3 15:48
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
Joined:
2005/1/3 18:45
From usa
Posts: 12549
You don't have to use hobbies and such as a dating service. Actually, I recommend using no dating service. Just try to make friends of both genders. Eventually you might find a friendship developping into more.

That's how it's always happened for me, though on the internet. My brother and I both met our wives on the net, weirdly enough. Though he used a dating service... I didn't.

Posted on: 2005/12/3 16:24
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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From close to Antwerp
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Cass, I don't use expensive dating sites, but rendez-vous.be, which is almost for free , and awarded one of the best sites.


Well, I don't date a lot, and I find it quite shallow.

And during the week, I don't have time for hobbies or socializing, because I have to work until 10 pm.

Posted on: 2005/12/3 16:44
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
I always did everything on my own, until the internet came I had no social contacts. As a kid I prefered spending every spare moment studying maps and reading travel guides, I did this for about 7 years! Since the internet came, I do speak to people and have conversations, but 80% of them are online. Internet takes away the social bounds and limitations that my AS brings, and once I know people a bit over the internet it can be slightly easier to meet them in real. I think for lot of us Aspies the internet took away social isolation Dating online is something I haven't tried, but for regular conversations it is great: I cannot just go out with a group of friends and talk, so I do it online and it's a nice ersatz.

But making friends is still problematic, young and adventurous I am, but I am also Asperger. I have now enroled in a group for people with AS and autism, it is very young and it is doubtful that this new group will attract different people, but it's worth giving it a try and may prove to be easier to communicate with people that are wired the same way as me.

For 'dates' (friends or more) with non-Aspies, it has to be in a small group, as soon as there's more than a few people I feel very stressed and uncomfortable. But I also don't long for going out with a big group of friends, I never wanted that. I prefer a two-people evening with a good chat, nightlife here is based on getting drunk without decent chat ; I don't miss too much

Posted on: 2005/12/3 21:36
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
Quote:

johandeman wrote:
Cass, I don't use expensive dating sites, but rendez-vous.be, which is almost for free , and awarded one of the best sites.


Well, I don't date a lot, and I find it quite shallow.

And during the week, I don't have time for hobbies or socializing, because I have to work until 10 pm.


By the way, blogs and profile pages sometimes work out to be good dating tools, because people with similar interests and opinions read your posts and writings and may react by sending an email. I have not tried it myself though.

Have you tried adultfriendfinder.com ?

Posted on: 2005/12/3 21:37
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
Joined:
2005/1/3 18:45
From usa
Posts: 12549
Gerrit, if the way you do most of your socializing is the net, then definitely try that. You can always just try asking a girl you know out if you like here from here. Worst that can happen is "no". My main advice is just not to treat looking for a girl as separate from interacting with friends.

Posted on: 2005/12/3 22:17
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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From close to Antwerp
Posts: 6457
Gerrit, don't panic ! What's asperger ?

A friend of mine has a slight form of autism, but he always used to have pretty girlfriends.

He didn't tell everybody 'Hi, I'm D, and I'm autistic', only his best friends and relatives knew it.

There was nothing 'wrong' with this guy, he was only a bit narcistic and couldn't relate to other people.

So, head up !

Posted on: 2005/12/4 11:22
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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Gerrit, I'm one of the few people from this board who have met you, and I can honestly say there is nothing wrong about you.

You're a funny, talkative guy.

So don't panic. And I can understand you don't want to go to a group of people you don't know to start a conversation, nearly nobody is selfconfident enough to do that.

So, cheer up !

Posted on: 2005/12/4 12:07
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
Quote:

johandeman wrote:
Gerrit, don't panic ! What's asperger ?

A friend of mine has a slight form of autism, but he always used to have pretty girlfriends.

He didn't tell everybody 'Hi, I'm D, and I'm autistic', only his best friends and relatives knew it.

There was nothing 'wrong' with this guy, he was only a bit narcistic and couldn't relate to other people.

So, head up !



www.aspergers.com/

Asperger = a mild form of autism combined with regular or high intelligence

Once I know someone a bit I can be quite talkative yeah But somehow it doesn't work out to build up a regular social life, and I also don't feel the need to have a whole lot of friends that I see a lot (I like to be alone regularly)

What I do wonder however: if the girl I liked hadn't known about my Asperger, would she have been with me then now? Well, if she was turned off by it, she wouldn't be the right one for me anyway and she'd have found out anyway about it.



This topic is turning into a 'lonely men exchanging dating hints' topic

Posted on: 2005/12/4 16:42
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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From close to Antwerp
Posts: 6457
When I read 'what's Asperger?', I had to laugh.

People with asperger have interest that are not appropriate to their age, like an abnormal interest in trains, cappucino....


No it's not something to make fun of.

I guess I have asperger too when I read this, combined with the hyper sensitve syndrome.

Posted on: 2005/12/4 16:55
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
Well, most of us have only a few interests but are very fanatic in those interests, and I do know of another Aspergian who learnt all train-timetables by heart for years when he was a kid.

I am like that as well, with travelling and soccer as those few areas of interest and fanatism. From age 7 to 15 I spent practically every moment stuying maps and reading travel guides, and then from 16 on I learn football adresses and facts by heart and obsessively collect stadium pics...

HSS is something some Aspies have, as we usually experience emotions in quite an extreme way. But HSS is still something else, I have also never been diagnosed with HSS so I won't risk to comment on it.




I should normally hear from the Asperger Group this week and get invitations for activities, maybe this can get some socialising start off

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:10
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
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2005/1/2 0:28
Posts: 26808
Quote:

Gerrit wrote:
and I do know of another Aspergian who learnt all train-timetables by heart for years when he was a kid.

But when you do that, you needn't be an Asperger?

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:13
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
No, also some normals do that sort of stuff But it's something that most Aspergians have: a very limited number of interests in which they're very fanatic. Some of the greatest scientists are Aspergers, their fanatism allowing them to really go beyond most people's effords and determination in researching.

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:20
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
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2005/1/2 0:28
Posts: 26808
Quote:

Gerrit wrote:
No, also some normals do that sort of stuff But it's something that most Aspergians have: a very limited number of interests in which they're very fanatic.

I'm glad I have a lot interests then. See my profile.

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:22
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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2005/1/2 12:40
From close to Antwerp
Posts: 6457
Quote:

bernd wrote:
Quote:

Gerrit wrote:
and I do know of another Aspergian who learnt all train-timetables by heart for years when he was a kid.

But when you do that, you needn't be an Asperger?




And when you drink a lot of cappucino ?

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:31
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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Sorry, Gerrit , but the description on that site is so vague and general it applies to everybody.

At first I thought it was a joke.

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:44
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
South
Joined:
2005/1/2 14:28
From France
Posts: 3716
But there's a difference between being crazy about trains and thinking of that all the time....

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:51
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
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2005/1/2 0:28
Posts: 26808
Quote:

Julie wrote:
But there's a difference between being crazy about trains and thinking of that all the time....

I don't see much difference there.

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:53
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
Must admit I didn't check the site first, I just googled on the term 'asperger' and gave the easiest URL, taking it for granted a specialised site would give decent info.

I haven't visited too many sites on the issue. After my diagnoses I first stayed away from it, once I had fully accepted it I mostly spent time on searching contact with other Aspies. I am now active member in a community for Aspergers, which is great fun and very interesting to see how others deal with it.

Posted on: 2005/12/4 17:54
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
For a second I thought Johan was serious when he said he thinks he has AS and HSS... Stupid me

Anyway, I checked the site now and indeed it's not the most precise description. I think this gives a better idea: http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=212

And this comes from a professional organisation here in the UK, an organisation for people in the Autism Spectrum. I joined the organisation recently by the way as it may be useful to get in touch with other people with AS.

Sorry for providing a rather stupid link first, as I said I mentionned the first URL the search engine came up with without checking the site myself. This one from NAS is one I checked from A to Z and gets my label 'reliable'

Posted on: 2005/12/4 23:14
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
HNN Forums Admin
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2005/1/2 0:25
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What was the topic of this thread about btw. ?

Posted on: 2005/12/4 23:22
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
The song stuck in our heads... I can't help it the Smiths' lyrics remind me of my condition



Anyway, since my last visit to the Goth pub in Belfast I am stuck with "Dread the day" in my head, a song by The Ghost Of Lemora.

You can listen to the song at http://theghostoflemora.dmusic.com (or ghostoflemora.dmusic.com if the other wouldn't work)

Their keyboard player, Sonya Lemora, is a very goodlooking gothic lady as well

Posted on: 2005/12/4 23:24
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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2005/1/2 12:40
From close to Antwerp
Posts: 6457
Well, Gerrit, I apply to the Asperger syndrome characteristics provided in the scientific site too.
And to the Hyper Sensitive Syndrome...


Maybe I'm a fellow Asperger.

'... develops an interest in collecting things... or memorising stuff like traintables ...'.

Posted on: 2005/12/5 10:17
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Milky Way
Joined:
2005/3/5 20:32
From Belfast, Northern Ireland
Posts: 341
Well, the sites choose the most weird examples of course, but it is not incorrect, it's just more extreme examples. As you say: it's not something to make fun of, but some articles on the subject may give a wrong impression. Although in general the NAS one is quite informative and gives a good image of what it really is about.



By the way Johan: check that song by Ghost Of Lemora I mentionned two posts above this one. They're a quite popular goth band in the British gothscene, you may like it as well.

Posted on: 2005/12/5 16:16
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Burn the skin off, climb the rooftop
Thy will be done
Bite the nose off, and make it the most off
Your kingdom...

(Echo & The Bunnymen, My Kingdom, 1984)
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Blow
Joined:
2005/10/12 20:14
From Reading
Posts: 70
Under the tree - The waterbabies
from the Vodafone adverts

Posted on: 2005/12/6 12:54
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
Joined:
2005/10/14 13:03
From Konstanz, Germany
Posts: 5435
Live - The Dam at Otter Creek ("...deep enough to dive...")

Posted on: 2005/12/6 13:02
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Wonderlust
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Posts: 1454
shit thats a good one!

Posted on: 2005/12/6 23:31
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
Storm
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2005/10/14 13:03
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Posts: 5435
I can only repeat myself: the year 1994 - what a year in music!!

Posted on: 2005/12/7 18:25
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Re: What song is stuck in your head right now?
The Jasmine Flower
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Posts: 26808
Quote:

Bene wrote:
I can only repeat myself: the year 1994 - what a year in music!!

Lucilectric!

Posted on: 2005/12/7 19:32
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